My Little Sunflower
by SukiWilliams
Summary: Matthew hates parties...but maybe Arthur can help make this party...one to be remembered Pairings: RusCan, Eventual UsUk, One sided PruCan and maybe even character death...Things do plan on getting pretty bloody in later chapters and possible rape...so fair warning.
1. The Kiss

**Hey guys! im back! So my other story, How To Save A Life, has been put on hold for the moment~ SO HERE YA GO~~~ MY OBSESSION THAT I HAVE BEEN STAYING UP UNTIL 1 AM WORKING ON FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS xD A RusCan story~ Enjoy~**

**I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS~**

Matthew rolled his eyes. _Great…another party for me to be forgotten at…I don't see why I come to these anyways...They always end badly for me…_ He walked up to the door knocked, only to be met by the ever flamboyant Feliks.

"Like hi Matthew~. I'm so glad you, like, made it~" He smiled and let him inside. Matthew smiled and looked around. There were a few people here already. Not many though. He saw the Russian exchange student, Ivan. Matthew didn't know what it was about Ivan that intrigued him, but he was drawn to him. Some would say it was a crush. Others, stupidity. Not many hung out with him. They though that he was crazy, scary, different even, but that didn't matter to Matthew, he still liked him. Next to him was his half brother, Alfred who was loud and obnoxious, Arthur, whom Alfred had this HUGE crush on but couldn't say a thing to him, and Francis, the perverted French exchange student from two years ago. THEN there was Gilbert, the Albino one that thought so highly of himself, and so little of others. Matthew didn't **hate **him…just strongly dislike him…He watched Gilbert walk over, that smug of his look pasted face.

"Hello Gilbert…" his voice hard, and earns a look from the Albino. He braces himself, because the question will come up again…he could feel it.

"Hey there Birdie~" His smug look still there. "So you made it tonight, kesesese~" He moved closer to him, a bit to close. "You know…I want something…I want a kiss from my awesome birdie~" Matthew's eyes widened and he stepped back, only to end up hitting the wall. He chuckled, leaning in very close to Matthews face.

"G-Gilbert…B-Back off…" His face red at the closeness, causing Gil to smirk.

"Aww, does my little birdie like this?" the smirk never leaving his face. Matthew tried to shrink down more than he was, only to have his chin tilted up by the albino, his lips met the others. His eyes widened more than they were and he pushed the grinning Gilbert away. The look on his face causing Matthew to snap, not caring who else was around, he went off on him.

"You….You ass! Why the hell would you do that!?" His face red from anger and embarrassment. "Your unbelievable!" He balled his fist and landed a solid left hook on his jaw, causing him to fall and look into Matthews glaring eyes. Everyone in the room turning in surprise at the quiet Canadian who wasn't so quiet now, telling Gilbert off. "Look Gilbert," his eyes sharp "What you just did, was **not **awesome. **Your**not awesome. Your Ego finally got in the way didn't it? Think that because you like someone you can have them?! Think the fuck again you ass." He walked away from him and everyone else, still not aware what he had said or done, going outside to the backyard and sitting in the grass while back inside, everyone was shocked.

"Did Mattie really do that just now?!" Alfred looked at the stunned teen on the floor then to Arthur. "Holy shit dude….Mattie is bad ass! I haven't ever seen him get that worked up over anything before…Gilbert, dude, what did you even do to him?" Gil sat up and winced as he gently touched his jaw.

"All I did was **kiss** him! You would think he would like something like that from the awesome me" Alfred just stared, eyes wide. Alfred had never felt so mad in his life.

"You **kissed** my little brother?! You fucking **idiot**! How could you not tell he doesn't like you in that way?! I'm glad he decked you…that way I didn't and hurt you more than he did…oh and you should have that fixed…it's probably gunna bruise like no tomorrow." He looked at Arthur. "Hey…can you go find him…make sure he doesn't do anything else stupid?" Arthur nodded. "Thanks Artie~" He blushed at the nick name and walked off, outside. Ivan walked over to Gilbert, causing him to become uneasy and scared.

"Why would you do that to Mattvey?" his eyes and aura dark. "I'm only holding back for their sake…" he glares into the others bright red eyes. "When he comes inside, you say sorry. Or you will regret it, da?" With that, he walked into another room, everyone looking at his retreating figure before turning their gaze back to Gil. Gil then in turn went upstairs to the roof, and the party continued…for the most part.

x~X*Page Break*X~x

"Matt?" Arthur sat down next to him and looked over. The normally calm Blonde that he has grown to have a brotherly bond to. "Matthew…" He went to say more but was pulled into a hug. He looked down surprised. "What's the matter Matt?" Matthew looked up, tears in his eyes.

"I-I punched someone A-Artie…." He managed to get out between sobs. "I-I didn't mean to…I-It just kinda happened…." He cried more. "H-He probably thinks s-so badly of me now…." He let go and hugged his knees to his chest. "H-he hates me now Artie…w-what am I going t-to do…?" Artie had an idea what he was talking about. It was obvious the little Canadian had a crush on Ivan, he could tell.

"Who hates you now Matt? I doubt that anyone does…Especially Ivan~ He went over and gave Gil a good talking to… It was actually quite scary." Matthew perked up a little. _'Why would Ivan do that? I-Is there a possibility he likes me back?' _Arthur noticed him perk up and smirked a little. "Mattie~" Matt looked over, surprised. Nobody but Al called him that. Even then, he only did so when he wanted something. "Do you _like_ Ivan?" His heart sped up then and he turned a bright red color and hid his face in his knees. "You do, don't you~! Matt….I can help you with this…but only if you agree to help me in return.

All I ask you to do is…." He seemed to have trouble with getting the words to come out. "Help me….with your brother…that's all I ask…" Matt looked over.

"You mean you couldn't tell that Al liked you all this time?" He raises an eyebrow. "It was obvious…the way he speaks to you and the way he is when you're around. Then there's that one factor that I think everyone has with the person they like…he never shuts up about you~" He nudged the other playfully. "But yeah...You just have to tell him. I know for a fact that he likes you too~" The look on Arthurs face was priceless, like he couldn't believe it. "And no, I'm not pulling your leg. I'm positive he likes you…so go get him alright? I'll be inside in a few minuets."

"A-Alright…" Arthur, who was blushing like mad, stood up. "Thanks Mattie…Now, trust me. I can make everything work with you and Ivan alright?" Matthew nodded, calmed down now after talking to him, and watched the Brit walk inside. He sighed.

"But what if he doesn't like me…? What if you're wrong Artie….what if…? What then..?" He stood up and slowly made his way inside.


	2. the aftermath

**YO GUYS~! Sorry for not updating. I moved and i still have no internet. Do you know how risky it is tying this in study hall? you should realize how much i love you all in order to do this. -_- i love you all so much XD enjoy the chapter!**

As Matthew walked inside, everyone turned and looked at him, causing him to become uneasy as he went to the kitchen, wishing he could be invisible once more. He sighed as he grabbed a drink and looked around. It was only him and…..Gil in the kitchen. He tensed and walked back to the doorway, only to be stopped before he could leave.

"Birdie…..Look im sorry….The awesome me sh-" Matthew shook his head.

"I'm not really in the mood for this right now Gilbert…now let me go and leave me alone before I hurt you again…and trust me, I didn't want to hurt you. We've been friends forever…I just don't feel the same towards you…alright?" he looked into the others hurt eyes. "I'm sorry Gil….but…. I can't…" He got out of the others grasp and walked out into the living room, just in time to watch Arthur make his move on Alfred. He smiled a little as he watched them.

~xX~Page Break~Xx~

"Alfred…." Arthur looked him in the eyes, lightly blushing and fidgeting beyond belief. "u-um…I-I have something that I need to tell you…" Alfred just stood there, being the idiot he was and not taking a hint. Arthur sighed. "Actually….Never mind…" He turned and walked off, only to be stopped by a hand grabbing his shoulder and turned him, as if to look him in the eye, and lightly pressed their lips together. Arthur blushed a bright shade of red and froze, not moving. Eventually, Alfred pulled away and looked down, letting go of him and walking outside to a spot by the stream in back. Arthur walked out after him and looked at the sitting figure before sitting next to him and taking a deep breath. "I do to...but...only to you..."

Alfred looked over, a little surprised that the Brit had followed him outside. "You do...? You arent just saying this...?" He was skeptical about what the other had just said, not sure if it was what he wanted to believe or not as the Brit looked straight ahead.

"Of course i do you git..." His face, bright red as he talked. "Why wouldnt I..? I only froze because you took me by surprise...thats all..." Arthur looked over and was met almost instantly with the others hand, cupping his cheek and giving him another gentle kiss. The difference this time, he didnt freeze, instead he returned the kiss slightly, causing the other to smile and pull away after a while of the gentle kiss, looking into the green pools that were bright and happy, completely and truely happy for the first time since he had moved here to America.

~xX~Page Break~Xx~

Matthew watched as the Brit chased after his brother and gave a small, sad sigh. _Why cant things be like that for me..?_ He looked around and saw him. The tall Russian that he had his eye on and smiles softly to himself before leaning against the wall and spacing, thinking of the possibilities that could happen. He didnt notice that the other had seen him just standing there and started walking over until he was right there.

"Hullo Matvey" His light purple eyes glinted in the lighting of the room, making them seem a bit devious. Matthew just looked into his eyes, causing the Russian student to raise his eyebrow. "Matvey, are you alright..? You seem out of it." Matthew shook his head, snapping himself out of the trance that he was in and nodded.

"Y-Yeah...I-I'm perfectly fine...D-Dont worry about me" Talking fast and stumbling over the words as he talked, face a bit red, causing the other to chuckle and raise an eyebrow as he did so.

"Alright...If you say so Matvey..." he leans against the wall next to him. "Did Gilbert ever say sorry for doing that today..?" Matthew just looks at him in slight shock. The Russian only shook his head "Never mind, Matvey... Never mind.." Matthew went to say something right as Feliks announced it was time for them to play a game.

"So...It''s like, time to play a game everyone~!" a few people groaned, Matthew included but he kept it silent. _Great...His games always end when something bad happens..._ he sighs as he walks to the living room and sits down, leaning on the couch, waiting for the game to begin. His eyes widened as Feliks announced that they were going to play Truth or Dare. _Alright...so we're playing Truth or Dare...? I really **dont** want to play...__oh well though.._ He watched as everyone else walked into the room, talking away with each other. He smiled when he saw Arthur and Alfred walk in, holding hands. Arthur looked at him and smiled, as if saying thanks. The Canadian just nodded, the smile not leaving his own face. Someone sat down beside the Canadian and he looked over, only to see Gilbert. His smile faded almost instantly and looked away, bringing his knees to his chest and hugging them close. The albino smiled a little, scooting close to the hiding Canadian.

"Hey Birdie...Can i say sorry now..?" he was close, maybe a bit too close to the blonde right now. Matthew shifted uncomfortably and nodded slightly. "Well...The awesome me is sorry that i did that to you. I shouldnt have done that and i think that our first kiss should have been a lot sweeter and not as forced. lets give it another go shall we, this time...it wont be as bad." He smirked a little as he leaned closer to the other. Matthew's eyes widened as he heard this and tried to move away from him. _He wouldnt do it here...Maple...he would..._ He desperately looked around and tried to catch someones eye, failing as his head was lightly turned to face the other. he moved his arms from his knees and pushed him away.

"Gilbert... .alone. I said it already. I **dont **like you...learn to get that through your thick skull!" His anger was rising again as he stood and moved somewhere else in the room, away from him. He looked around and saw Ivan, who happened to be staring at the albino, the look in his eye murderous.

"Gilburt...I thought i told you to leave Matvey alone...did i not...?" You could hear the conversation as the room suddenly went quiet. Ivan's eyes, dark. He did **not **like this at all. He glanced at Matthew, who was now silently watching the two as the Albino stood and walked over to him.

"And what will you do about it Braginski? You gonna punch me too...?" He raised an eyebrow, smirking.

_"Nyet...But_ i could knock you out with my pipe...But that would require me to get it and i dont want to." He looked at the smirk. "I see no reason for you to smirk, you've been turned down two times. By the same person, correct...?"

"That has nothing to do with the awesome me. Look...Ivan, why dont **you** leave Birdie alone..? He probably doesnt like you if he doesnt like this awesomeness right here.." Motions to himself. Matthew sighs. _why are other guys so...so...stupid? _Gilbert glances at him before walking over, despite the glare from Ivan. "Birdie...Matthew...choose. Now. Me or him." Matthew blinked.

"W-Why do I have to c-choose...? I dont want to do that out loud...and...and you cant make me..." He looked down.

"Matthew. Look at me, alright...? I'm going to say this and yeah, i know that we've been friends since kindergarten and stuff like that, but if you decide that you want to have him as a friend, then im calling off ours." His tone dead serious as he talked. Matthews eyes widened in shock as he looked at him and slowly stood.

"Then...Then i guess...We aren't g-going to be friends anymore Gil..." His tone soft and hurt. All the memories of the times they had when they were kids, flooding back through his mind and small tears forming in his hurt eyes. Gilbert looked at him, shocked and a little angry.

"Fine. Whatever Matthew...I dont even care anymore." With that he turned and walked out of the room, followed by the hurt Canadians eyes as he walked quietly to the corner of the room, sitting there and the game started. He didnt even pay attention to the game until he heard the name of the person he had ruined a friendship for was mentioned.

"Soooo~ Ivan...Like, Truth or Dare?" The Russian looked at Feliks and shrugged, not really paying attention to the game, but more to the depressed blonde in the corner.

"Dare i guess...i have nuthing to hide." Feliks laughed, causing the other to raise his eyebrow as he scooted closer.

"I dare you, to like, tell us who you like then, like, go and give them a kiss~" He smirked a little and raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"Oh...um..well..." He pulled his scarf up around his face to cover the blush and looked away from everyone. He sighed softly and got up and started walking over to the Canadian, who still had his head on his knees and sat. "Matvey..." He looked over at the blonde, who was now blushing deeply. _W-Wait...did I...Did i hear that right? Did he really just say that...?! _His heart beat so fast he felt as though it was going to pop out of his chest. The rest of the room, except for Arthur, looked at the Blonde in surprise.

"Him? Like, not to be rude, but **why**?" He flipped his hair in frustration. He didnt see why the exchange student would like him. He wasnt outgoing enough and hardly ever talked.

"Well, he has been tutoring me da? He was the first person here to show kindness to me when I needed it and helped me when i needed the help. I have no reason not to like him" While he was speaking, Matthew was taking in every word of what he said and "storing" it away.

"Then, like, if you like him...Kiss him." he smirked and Matthew tilted his head up to look at everyone, completely forgetting that his face was bright red with blush. "And look. He's, like, blushing~" the blonde chuckled upon seeing him blushing as much as he really was. Ivan blinked and nodded, reaching over and gently turning Matthews face to his and placing a gently kiss on his lips. Matthew, if possible, blushed more as the other pulled back. He opened his mouth to say something but was at a loss for words. Everyone was surprised, you could feel it in the air.

"Well...that was, like, unexpected. I didnt think you would, like, do it for real." Ivan just nodded and, somehow knowing what the other wanted to say with out him actually saying it, hugged him close. Matthew was glad that the other could understand and looked down as he was hugged close.

"Matvey..." his voice quiet. "I can invite you over after the party...da?" The blonde just nodded and smiled a little to himself.

~xX~Page Break~Xx~

After the party was over, Alfred left to go back to the house he shared with the two others. Arthur, who gave Matthew a reassuring wink, was smiling like an idiot as they went to Alfred's car and drove off. Ivan walked out and over to him, small smile on his lips.

"You're ready to go, da?" He nodded and followed him to his car, getting in the passenger side.

"You...You have a nice car Ivan..." His voice soft, face red, and heart beating fast. He was nervous to say the least as the other got in and started the car before driving off towards the apartment where he was staying.

"Matvey...You dont have to talk...I am comfortable with just sitting here if you want." He was trying to make it easier on him and let him get used to this. "When we get to my place, we can watch a movie, da?" Matthew nodded. This whole thing felt like a dream and he didnt want it to end...didnt want to wake up from it. For once, a dream where something good was happening to him. He stared out the window, into space and didnt realize that half an hour had passed before they had reached his house. "Matvey, we're here." His voice dragging him out of the space where he had been for the ride and he nodded, getting out of the car and stretching. Ivan walked over and gently hugged him from behind, being oddly affectionate, causing him to blush a deep red once more.

"I-Ivan...I-I can walk you know..." The taller of the two just nodded and walked inside, opening the door and closing it lightly before looking at the blonde he held in his arms. Matthew looked back at him, his light violet eyes a little wide and the blush on his face making him apear more adorable, in Ivan's eyes, than he already was. He could smell the slight smell of the German beer that he had been dared to drink earlier that night on his breath as he breathed. "I-Ivan...?" He got no answer, for Ivan was lost in the others eyes. He slowly shifted the other so he was supporting him from under the butt and gently leaned forward, kissing him lightly. Matthew blushed even more than he was already, looping his arms around the others neck. This time, not passing up the chance to return the kiss from him. He pressed close, feeling the heat from the Russian's body, the hands slowly starting to grope his ass as he let out a small noise, accidentally opening his mouth a little. Ivan noticed that he did this and took the chance, sliding his tongue into the others mouth, exploring the hot moist cavern. He started slowly moving to the other room, away from the door as one of his hands slid up the blonde's shirt. Matthew shivered a little, the small of his back a sensitive spot, and pulled away panting, a small string of saliva between the two.

"That was a good kiss...da?" Ivan looked at the other, still slowly moving to the other room. The Canadian nodded and blushed lightly as he received small kisses down his jawline and neck, still being supported by the others firm grasp on his ass. "You know that you taste like Maple syrup...da?" He managed to say, in between kisses as he walked into the room, gently placing the smaller on the couch, which could have easily fit five people and was perfect to stretch out on, before continuing the kisses, going along his collar bone as he slowly moved lower. Matthew arched his back beneath him a little as he was kissed, face a light red from all the loving kisses he was getting.

"Ahhhhn..I-Ivan...~" he let his eyes close as he felt the others hand reach up and gently start massaging the inside of his thighs as he slowly moved the kisses lower, a free hand reaching up to slip his shirt off, gently placing kisses oh his chest and stomach. He took one of the pale pink nubs into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it, making it become hard as he massaged the other with the same hand that took off the shirt. His other hand moving higher up, getting closer to his slight erection. Matthew blushed, shifting slightly as the warmth was pulled from his chest and moved down to his stomach then pant line, where they were tugged at playfully.

"Matvey..." he looked up, eyes asking if it was alright for him to take them off. Matthew made the mistake of looking into his eyes and found himself nodding, followed by the coldness that hit his now almost completely erect member. He blushed more and made a small noise as Ivan gently kissed it, causing him shift again, lightly grasping at the sheets. The taller one shivered a little at the noise, his own pants growing tighter with each little noise from the body beneath him as he continued to kiss it, slowly licking it.

"A-Ahhh...nnnn..." the small blonde bit his lip, hoping to keep the noises down, only failing as the other slowly took the tip into his mouth, running his tongue along the slit and licking up the pre-cum that was slowly dripping out. Ivan sucked lightly, causing more pre-cum to leak out from the slit. Matthew let out a small moan as he started pumping him, the feeling of someone else's hand on him exhilarating. He had never felt this before and to say the least, he was enjoying every second of it. Ivan looked at him before taking the erect member in his mouth. Matthews eyes shot back open as he instinctively moved a hand to the others hair, gently tangling it in the silvery blonde locks as he slowly started bobbing his head. "O-Oh maple..." his voice low and laced lightly with lust. Ivan heard this and moved his head a little faster, hoping to draw more noises out of his little blonde lover. "...Ahhhh...~" This kept going for a few minuets before he pulled the throbbing erection out of his mouth, earning a slight whine from the other who slowly untangled his fingers from his hair.

"One minuet my nemnogo podsolnechnogo~" he walked off to his room, returning with a small tube of lube and a ring of sorts. Matthew raised his eyebrow and bit his lip, knowing exactly what each was for. He let out a small whine as the ring was slid onto his cock and tightened, not allowing him release any time soon.

"Thats not fair mon amour..." He pouted, his native french tongue slipping, voice heavy with accent. Ivan just chuckled and proceeded to spread a little bit of lube on his fingers, pressing one of them to the tight pink entrance before slipping it in and moving it around as Matthew shifted, making it easier for him to do so. "A-Ahhnn" His back arched, the feeling slightly hurtful but that was over come by the fact of how much he enjoyed it.

Hearing this, Ivan added another finger. Making a slight scissoring motion as he stretched him out as so not to hurt him when he entered. He leaned up, lightly licking and sucking on the others throbbing member, causing it to twitch a little and its owner to moan more. When he finally dubbed Matthew stretched enough, he withdrew his fingers and dropped his pants. Matthew looked at him with half lidded eyes which only made the other want him more. "Matvey, nemnogo podsolnechnogo, turn over." he nodded and did as he was told, turning over and, arching his back for effect, stuck his ass in the air, giving it a gentle wiggle as if to say 'Well...get on with it~'. A noise could be heard from Ivan as he put some lube on his throbbing member. He grabbed the others hips and slid in, only half acknowledging the whimper of uncomfortableness that the other emitted as he gently started rocking in and out of him. Matthew grasped the nonexistent sheets that he wished would have been there, allowing him to grab and hold onto to try and stabilize him as the larger started moving faster. The feeling in his lower abdomen becoming a little more uncomfortable as he called out, his prostate hit. Ivan heard the small cry and smirked a little, adjusting his grip on the Canadian and pulling almost all the way out before, with a greater force, shoving back into him. Matthew's eyes opened wide before closing and a small bit of saliva fell from the corner of his mouth as this continued. The pressure in his stomach becoming greater with each thrust of the other as a hand slipped back and tried to undo the ring, only to fail with very little luck, his hand falling back to the couch. The blonde turned his head, eyes half open and looked at the Russian, trying to plead with him to get the ring off. Ivan, almost at his limit gave a brief nod and slowly undid the ring. Almost instantaneously, Matthew let out a small moan and came, all over the couch, the muscles in him clenching around Ivan's member, causing him to cum inside the smaller with a low groan before almost collapsing on top of him. He pulled out and gently pulled Matthew on top of him as he adjusted comfortably on the couch, the small blonde nuzzling into his chest, already asleep. Neither of them heard the phone ringing in the corner, playing Thanks for the Memories. On the other line, a certain "awesome" person waited for the blonde to pick up. He had seen the other leave with the Russian and wanted to make sure he was alright. Even if Matthew had said that he would choose the taller one over the long time friend, he wasnt going to give up on him. He would win him back one way or another.

**nemnogo podsolnechnogo~- Little sunflower~**

**YO GUYS~! Sorry for not updating. I moved and i still have no internet. Do you know how risky it is tying this in study hall? you should realize how much i love you all in order to do this. -_- i love you all so much XD enjoy the chapter!**


	3. The accident

The sun rose and streamed gentle streams of golden light on the Canadian's hair, making it glisten and glow. He shifted on the others chest, only slightly aware of here he was and who he was with at the moment. He mumbles, nuzzling the others chest, his phone going off for what seems likes the millionth time that day so far. He mumbles something about maple syrup before suddenly sitting up and looking around, momentarily lost before flinching horribly, causing the sleeping Russian beneath him to stir and blink the sleepiness out of his eyes before looking at the other who was now looking at him, eyes wide and slightly red.

"I-Ivan…Did…did we really…?" His body slightly shaking from the loss of warmth, the pain in his rear confirming his question. Ivan just looked at him, hair messy and shirt unbuttoned.

"Da….we did…sorry Matvey…I guess…." He sighs. He didn't know how to explain this. He had thought that the other had been alright with it and didn't really care if they did or not. He looked so needy last night. Ivan started to regret this….bringing him over to his place the whole nine yards. Matthew hugged himself, trying to keep himself warm. He noticed the Russian sigh.

"I-Ivan….I…I never said I-I regretted it…Did I..?" he looked him in the eyes and smiled softly before leaning back forward, wincing again and ignoring his phone as it continued to ring with the Albinos ringtone, resting his head on the others shoulder. "Please…don't r-regret anything….I don't." he blushed a light red. The Russian, smiling a little and chuckles as he sees the blush on his face.

"Matvey…you look adorable like that…." He looked back into the others amethyst eyes, his own a happy expression. Matthew blushed more and shook his head, burying it in his neck. He yawns and hugs Matthew a little closer. "I think you deserve a bath, no?" Matthew just nodded a little.

"P-Please….if I can….It might help my a-ass stop hurting as much as it does….." upon saying that, he wiggles it a little. Experimenting how much he can move without it hurting him, wincing slightly as he did so. "Can't really even do that…." He mumbles into the others neck, smelling the faint scent of alcohol from the night before. Ivan sat up and gently moved so he was holding the smaller blonde Bridal style and walked to the bathroom, starting the bath and making sure that it wasn't to hot or too cold before setting him in the bath, careful not to hurt him on purpose. Matthew looked at him with a small smile before looking at the bubbles in the giant Jacuzzi size bathtub blushing lightly still. For renting the apartment, it was a really nice apartment. "U-Um….." he twiddles his thumbs a little. "D-Do you want to t-take a b-bath with me…?" He glances over and sees the somewhat amused look on the others face as he nodded.

"If you would want me to, which I think you do, then yes. I would like to take a bath with my Matvey" he took off his clothes before slipping into the bath with him and sighing softly at the warmth of the water before looking at Matthew and motioning him over. He nodded and moved over to him, glad the water is helping his ass not hurt as much as he sat next to him and leaned on him slightly. "Matvey…..can I ask you something…?" he looked at the smaller as he nodded, eyes questioning. "If it's alright with you, can…can we try it again…? Now that I'm not intoxicated…? And I can do things correctly?" He watched as Matthew started to blush a deep red and thought it over. "We don't have to right now…maybe after breakfast. But you don't have to….I wont pressure you…but I would like you to become one with Mother Russia." He smiled slightly as the other made his mind up.

"U-Um….." he looked down at the bubbles as he nervously nodded. "Y-Yeah….we can…" he was blushing madly now, which in turn made the other chuckle.

"When would you like to do so Matvey? We can do it whenever you want…I don't want to make you do anything you are uncomfortable with…..da….?" He smiled slightly, hoping to keep the other calm as they talked, the warm water around them letting off steam, causing the mirrors to fog up. Looking up at the other, Matthew felt a feeling in his gut, telling him something was wrong.

"I-Ivan…Can we do this later….I have a really bad feeling in my stomach…like … something's gone wrong….a-and I think something happened to Alfred….His eyes, his soft amethyst eyes were laced with concern and worry. Ivan nodded, as a signal that this could wait.

~xX~PaGeBrEaK~Xx~

"Hey, Iggy can we go to this Carnival…..It's not that far from here…and I haven't been to one in forever!" Alfred asked as he talked into his phone. The other had gone out for some groceries, seeing as they were getting low at the house. Arthur sighed and set the groceries down in the trunk.

"Sure…I don't see why not. I'll meet you there. I didn't buy any perishables so I'll drive straight there, alright?" Alfred punched the air.

"Yeah dude! See you there!" He said as he hung up. He raced up to his room throwing on a Green Day shirt the one to advertise their upcoming album, Tres, and some dark blue jeans. He smiles, uncontrollably. This was his first 'date' with the other and he was psyched! He grabbed a Coke from the fridge and slipped his worn out converse on as he grabbed his house keys and walked outside into the late afternoon air, his smile still never leaving his face as he started walking. The Carnival was only a few blocks away, ten at most. He hummed as he stopped at a cross walk, popping in his head phones and putting some random music he had, not really caring as he stepped out into the street and walked across humming along to American Idiot by Green Day. What he didn't realize was that a car in the oncoming lane had lost control of its breaks and was heading for him. Within a matter of seconds, the driver hit the horn, trying to tell him to move out of the way. Alfred looked to the side right as the car hit him and he went flying, a good ten-fifteen feet due to the speed that car was traveling at. He hit the street with a sickening sound and everyone watched in horror, blood pooling out of his side and head. One person, who was watching, left his friend and ran over, trying to get his phone out and call 9-1-1. By the got them on the phone, a small crowd had gathered as he told what had happened. The stranger nodded and hung up after being told how to try and stop the bleeding. Taking Alfred's phone and finding his emergency contact he called, waiting for the other to pick up. Arthur picked up and smiled slightly, figuring that the other was already there and waiting for him.

"Alfred….Im almost there, calm down." He pulled up to a stop light and saw a crowd of people down the street, ambulance sirens speeding down the street. He felt something clench as he pulled into a parking lot and got out of the car, hanging up and running over. "O-Oh my god…Alfred!" The stranger looked at him.

"Amigo, you're Arthur, si?" Arthur nodded and dropped to his knees, taking his sweater off, lightly pressing it to the others side, trying to make the bleeding stop. He looked over at the Brunette that was talking.

"What….What happened?" His eyes, wide and bright, tears slowly creeping to the edges of them, threatening to spill over.

"Well, amigo, He was walking across the street and this car came out of nowhere, hitting him. He…He flew a good fifteen feet before hitting the ground." He looked into the Brits eyes and saw the tears. "He will be fine….Im sure of it…" Medics appeared and Arthur looked at them as they took him to the ambulance.

"Please….Let me go with him…" He was to the point of begging. The EMT that was near the door looked at the other EMT and nodded, allowing him into the back of the vehicle. Arthur moved over to hold the others hand, crying silent tears. "Please….." he whispered….Please be alright….I…I can't loose you…." He held the others hand close to him, mumbling words of hope and regret. He felt that it was his fault that the other got hit by the car. He hadn't offered to pick him up at the house and now felt as though he was the reason the other was hurt. "Please….." He just kept mumbling, only to be disturbed when they pulled up to the hospital and was tapped on the shoulder. He nodded, getting out and waiting for the other, grabbing his hand and moving with them as he was taken into the building. They forced Arthur to wait in the waiting room and promised to give him updates on the others condition as they came up. Arthur slumped down into a seat, holding his head in his hands, the tears flowing freely and silently as he thought of all the possibilities of what was happening. _He…He could be bleeding out….what if he doesn't wake up…what if he goes into a coma…he could be almost d-dead right now and its all my fault.…. _He didn't see the Blondes twin show up in the waiting room, his face full of worry.

"Artie…?" he sat next to him and carefully placed a hand on his shoulder. "What happened…I…I got a call and came as fast as I could." Arthur just looked at him before quickly pulling him into a hug.

"A-Alfred was hit by a-a car…a-and it was my f-fault because I d-didn't offer to pick h-him up on the way to the Carnival….M-Mattie…W-What if Alfred dies….w-what will I do then…?" he looked into Matthews eyes, searching for an answer to his question.

"Arthur. It isn't your fault. At all. Understand? I don't want you to blame yourself for this and neither would Alfred. He wouldn't allow you too blame yourself over this. Knowing him, he would tell you that it was his fault and he wasn't paying attention… please…don't…..don't blame yourself…." He hugged the other tightly glancing at Ivan who was now sitting and watching the two. Matthew knew something was wrong with Alfred but he never thought it would be this bad. His grip dropped from the other as he felt a sharp pain in his side. "D-Damnit….Al…Alfred must be having surgery right now…I really they put him under enough…." The two others looked at him with curious eyes, causing Matthew to sigh. "Alfred and I are twins…Not identical…not fraternal…kinda both…in a way…but…I can feel all the pain that he does and vice versa. That's why breakfast had to be delayed…" That fact was true. Breakfast for the other was delayed, in more than one way. Ivan chuckled at the slight hinting and remark, causing Matthew to slightly blush as he continued. "Like…I had a feeling in my stomach when I was taking a bath...but…I can't imagine how stupid he was to get hit by a car! That….that's just something else right there…" he sighs and gets up. "I need some food… I'll be back…" and with that he walks off to the cafeteria to grab food and hopefully ease some of the pain he was feeling. By the time he got back, there was a doctor in the waiting room as well, talking to Arthur. Matthew sat next to Ivan and looked at the doctor, hoping for good news.

"There are two things I would like to tell you. Alfred's surgery was a success…" Arthur let out a breath that he didn't know he had been holding. "And as of right now, he's in a coma."


	4. Shot

**~WARNING~ I made Gilbert an ass...and there is Rape...Sorry to all of you that like Gilbert, but i kinda thought the story needed some drive...and thats the only way i could think of...Ive been in a depressed mood lately...so gomen in advance**

The doctor, barely even sugar coating it looked from face to face, Matthews face full of terror and shock while Arthur expression had gone from relief to sadness and regret. "He should wake up though….he's strong…he can pull through this." And with that he left the room, going to check up on other patients. Arthur stood.

"I….I'll be right back Matt…" He walked off, to the direction of the outside world where it had started raining, his eyes and thoughts full of sorrow. _This…this is all my fault… I couldn't save him and now theres the possibility that he could die…and hes in a coma…that just makes things worse…. Im such a horrible person…._ He sits on a rock outside, not caring about the rain and looks down at the ground. "Goddamn….Why…Every time I get close to someone….something happens to them…and this time it was A…Alfred…" he said through the freely dropping tears as he soon became soaked. He looked to the sky, his tears mingling with the rain in an exotic dance as he cried silently. "He'll be alright…the doctor said that….he would be…and when hes all better I can apologize to him….and maybe he'll forgive me…maybe he wont hate me as much…" His bright green eyes sad and depressed the more he thought about this. He barely even noticed as it started getting later and later, the temperature dropping steady pace. The blonde didn't notice the other walk out until he felt his hand on his shoulder. "…Im not going inside Matt…." His voice defiant.

"Arthur…..you need to go inside…think what Alfred would say if he saw you beating yourself up over this….he would tell you it isn't your fault and not to worry at all. Please come inside….alright….its cold and wet outside…your soaked…" He takes off his coat and puts it on the other. "At least wear this…I don't want you sick too…I wouldn't be able to deal with that along with this. Its too much.." his voice cracked as he talked. Not wanting to really believe what the doctor had told them about Alfred. "…He'll be fine…

I'm sure about that…You just have to believe alright?" All he got from the other was a nod before he walked back inside. Arthur looked into the sky once more, tears slowly stopping. Sighing he turned back towards the general direction of the door and started walking. He walked up to the desk and asked if he could go see Alfred, and upon seeing the pleading in his eyes, she nodded. He walked off. _Room 432…intensive care unit. _His clothes dripping as he walked. Not knowing what he was going to do when he got there. Not knowing how bad the other looked, how many tubes he had in him. He stops in front of the door, biting his lip as he slowly grasps the knob and turns, opening the door. His eyes widen and new tears form as he sees Alfred. Tubes and IV's everywhere. He walked over to the blonde in the bed, kneeling beside him and lightly grabbing his hand. "Please….please forgive me…I'm sorry…so…sorry…" Squeezing his hand, the tears started to fall again. In silent waves, the tears came. He didn't know what to do. He felt useless. The night drew on, and despite the efforts of the Doctors and Nurses, the Brit wouldn't leave the others side, eventually they just stopped coming around to get him away. Drifting off into an uneasy sleep, waking only a few hours later to the gentle machine beeps feeling like hell. He looks at the others face, the sadness in his own showing as he sighed, looking at the others face. He seemed so peaceful, carefree even. He leaned up and lightly kissed his cheek, smiling softly. "Get better soon Alfie…..please…"

~xX~PaGeBrEaK~Xx~

Over the course of two months after the accident had happened, Matthew and Ivan had gotten closer, but Arthur had stayed by Alfred's side, not even bothering to go to school. Matthew had to bring him new clothes daily, force him to eat, and make sure he stayed sane. It was hard, but he did it somehow. While dealing with the shock of the accident, Matthew had talked to Gilbert a little, seeing as he always has since they were little and started mending their relationship as friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

~xX~PaGeBrEaK~Xx~

"So, Mattie…What exactly do you see in that Russian your dating?" The albino asked the other one day in class, completely taking him by surprise. Matthew looked at him, and blinked.

"He's nice, funny, and he keeps me safe. I feel safe around him. I don't feel safe around many people anymore. Its kinda weird if you ask me…But I think I might honestly love him Gil…." He looked at the others face to see his reaction to what he had just said. Taking in the others slightly shocked look, he sighed. "I mean, I know its only been two months, but…I really think I do. It just feels so right to me…but I don't want to say anything yet. I don't want to scare him off…" Gilbert looked at him for a few more seconds before shaking his head.

"Birdie, you could never scare someone off unless you really wanted to. I mean, you got the awesome me to back off…and I like seeing you happy…like this even if it isn't me making you this way. Even though we're only awesome friends and that's all I need from you. But the awesome me would have liked to try being more…" He mumbles the last half of the sentence, hoping that the other didn't hear him. Matthew sighed, having heard the other.

"I know you would have Gil…but….I'm sorry…I just couldn't….it would have ruined our friendship when we broke up….it wouldn't ever be the same if it happened" Matthew looked down, sighing and twiddling his thumbs, feeling slightly uncomfortable. Gilbert looked over at him and his expression grew a bit hard.

"Just because it would have been hard after a possible breakup, doesn't mean that it never could have happened! Birdie, listen to me: I love you. I always have and I always will. How did you not see it before?! I've been dropping hints forever! You never even thought about it did you?" He looked into the others eyes, his own crimson ones hard. "I've loved you since we met that day in kindergarten, that day you stood up for me, the new kid. Everyone else was messing with me….you were the only one to accept me, ego and all…Yes, I admit it," he said, standing up. The blonde's eyes looked into crimson ones with shock. "I have an ego…a really big one to." Matthew opened his mouth to say something, only to be stopped. "Its been more then ten years now…and some random exchange student comes along, and within a month of knowing him, you start dating, now you tell me you think you _love _him? Don't you see _anything _wrong with this picture…? Someone you've known for a few months as opposed to me, who you've basically known your whole life…?" Matthew's eyes stared into the ones in front of him, the ones filled with sorrow. He finally saw how this relationship affected the other, the bags under his eyes, the puffiness from lack of sleep. He got up and walked over to him.

"….Im sorry Gil….but…I-I can't change how I feel about him" He grabbed Kumajiro and walked out of the restaurant, only to be stopped by the others grip. "L-Let me go Gil…Please" Gil just shook his head and sighed.

"Im sorry about this Birdie…but…I will make you love me….even if this is the only way." He pulled out a small syringe from his pocket and quickly put it to the others arm, inserting the liquid into his body. The Canadian looked at the other, eyes wide before he was escorted to the others car and put in the back seat. "…I **will**make you love me, if it's the last thing I do." That was the last thing the Blonde saw before it all went black.

~xX~PaGeBrEaK~Xx~

When Matthew came to, his head was spinning. He tried to move, only to find that he was confined by something. Looking at his hands, he saw ties and realized he was tied to a bed. Panicking he looked around and instantaneously saw where he was. His eyes widened as he recalled the events leading up to this. _Gil….he knocked me out….I…I cant believe him… _He looked at the door as it opened, showing the others head and a slight smirk.

"Oh good, your awake now Birdie. How did you sleep?" he walked into the room and sat at the end of the bed, looking into the others eyes. "I said I would make you love me…and I'm going to prove it right now." He slowly got to his knees and crawled over to him.

"G-Gil…w-what are you doing…L-Let me go…p-please…..l-let me go…" His voice pleading, only to be dismissed by the other as he played with the blondes pants. Matthew's eyes widened as he desperately tried to get away. "Gilbert…d-don't do it…p-please…" Tears formed in his eyes as ruby eyes gazed up at him.

"I will make you love me. I'll make you say my name…make you want more." His tone harsh, causing Matthew to shudder. Gilbert undid the others pants, slipping them off before kissing him deeply, not even asking permission to enter the warm cavern before slipping his tongue in. He yelped, pulling away, his tongue bitten and bleeding. He didn't expect the other to put up this much of a fight. Growling, he yanked off the others boxers, exposing the limp member. "I'll just have to change that Birdie~" he said, slowly rubbing it, making it become erect in no time at all. Smirking, he licked the underside of the now throbbing member, sending a shiver down the others spine as he took the whole member in his mouth, sucking and humming, hoping to stimulate him more so than he already was. Despite his efforts, Matthew moaned and writhed under the other, a mixture of trying to get away and the pleasure of getting a blowjob.

"G-Gil….nnngh…." his face turning red as he fought against the restraints. He looked down at the other, meeting his eyes he saw the lust and anger in his eyes, scared he tried harder to get free, knowing what was coming for him. Burns and marks forming on his arms as he struggled. _Why did it have to turn out like this? I...I never meant to hurt...I just dont think of him in that way..._ Tears formed in his eyes when he saw how deep the hole he was in really was. Thinking to block out what was happening to him, he was suddenly pulled away from his thoughts by a certain feeling in his stomach. _Oh god...no...please no...I dont want to..._ The tears fell freely from his as he called out. "G-Gil...I-Im gonna come..." his voice, the tone of it seemed to set the other on edge even more. The albino just blinked, sucking harder and bobbed his head faster, urging the other on and hoping that he would come, not wanting to wait. Letting out a groan, the Canadian came, releasing his seed into the others mouth. Panting and silently crying he looked at the other who pulled back with a popping noise and swallowed it. Licking his lips he sat back on his hunches.

"Thats only the beginning Birdie~ You still have another present from me that you have yet to receive...~" he chuckles and starts to undo his own pants. Matthews eyes widen again _S-Shit...I...I dont want him t-to do t-that..._

"P-Please Gil...no...d-dont do it..." His voice laden with tears as he talked. The albino didnt listen and continued to undress himself. _Im screwed... __so...very...scre-_ His thoughts were interrupted with with a pain in his lower back. He let out a loud yelp and winced. "G-Gil...n-non...stop...pleas- angh -please.." he writhed under the other, whimpering and yelping as the other grabbed his hips, holding him as he rammed into him. The tears now flowing more and less quietly. He gives up on trying to get away and just goes limp, concentrating on happy memories of what had happened with Ivan. All the happy times. The albino, seeing that the other had given up, took that as something good...that the other had finally accepted the awesome five meters. Smirking he slowly untied the others binds and moved into a more comfortable position. Matthew let his eyes closed and accepted his fate. Groaning slightly, he did what he was instructed to do, putting his arms around the others shoulders and riding him. He didnt want this...but he didnt want to fight either. He knew if he did, it would end badly. Hoping that Ivan could somehow sense something was wrong, he just went with it, not hearing his phone go off. The Russian had called about ten times now, wondering where he was.

~xX~ PaGe BrEaK ~Xx~

Ivan was starting to get antsy, he hadnt heard from the other in quite a few hours. He was supposed to be home a few hours ago. _something...is very wrong...i dont...i dont know...what...didnt he say he was going to be out with Gilbert. And he's not answering his phone...I'll go check on him..._He nods to himself and gets the address from a text the other had sent and began his trip across town.

~xX~ PaGe BrEaK ~Xx~

Matthew was now lying on the bed, whimpering and crying what little tears he had left. The other was done with him, for now. _Not like i can move anyways..._The other had kept up the same speed for quite a long time and, despite the others cries, he didnt let up. _W-What's Ivan going to think of me now...?_ He closed his eyes, tears trapped in his long eyelashes. He could hear the shower in the bathroom being ran and debated trying to get to his phone. He sighed and decided not to. He knew, deep down, that the Russian would come for him. Come and save him. Until then, he would have to deal with the others antics. Sighing, he shifted and winced, whimpering. _...I dont think i'll ever be able to face Ivan again... _

"Whatcha thinking Birdie...?~" The albino had gotten out of the shower and was now standing in the door way with only a towel around his waist.

"G-Gil...D-Dont come near me...I beg of you...J-Just leave me alone..." The Canadian looked straight into his eyes, face tear streaked. The other blinked before smirking.

"I cant take you seriously like that Birdie...you look too damned adorable when your helpless." He started walking over to the bed, the blonde panicking and trying to get away. He moved as far away from the other that he could and ended up on the floor against the wall. "Aww, is Birdie still playing hard to get...~?" He reached out to the other and stopped when he heard a doorbell. Sighing he reluctantly backed away from him and grabbed a pair of pants, slipping them on before he went downstairs to get the door. He had a feeling he knew who it was. "What the fuck do you want Iv-" He opened the door as he spoke, freezing when he came face to face with a revolver.

"Give me back Matvey. Now." The look in his eyes alone were enough to kill. The crimson eyes he stared into below widened. His grip tightened a little on the trigger, the other saw this and stood his ground.

"You dont have the guts to do it Ivan. I know you don't. Anyways, what if he came here on his own accord...?" he challenged the other, smirking, knowing he could stop him with his 'awesome'. The Russian just looked him in the eye.

"Would you really like to find out if i will shoot you...? You have Matvey, .back." He glared at the other, anger rising. "If you dont, ill go get him myself." he held his own ground at the door, showing that he wasnt leaving without the other. Gilbert looked up at him, expression hard.

"Who says he wants to go back with you...? h might want to stay with me now." He smirked still, uttering a small "kesesese~".

"If that is the case, then i want to hear it from him. Not you." He pushed passed the other and walked around, looking for the blonde. "I will find him Gilbert...I swear if you did anything to him," he turns and looks at him "I will kill you." His tone, dead serious. He continued to look through the house, ending up in the bedroom.

"I-Ivan...?" Matthew looked at him standing in the door way, new tears had formed when he saw the other, tears of happiness and relief. The Russian went over to him and looked him up and down. Noticing a few bruises on his waist and a few other things, his jaw clenched.

"Matvey...What did he do to you...? Did he do what i think he did to you...?" He looked at the other, who just nodded. "Im getting you out of here now..." He grabbed a blanket and threw it over the other before gently picking him up and walking back to the front door. Not seeing the Albino, he walked outside and gently set the Canadian down, still supporting him. A gun shot was heard. Ivan looked at the front door.

"If I cant have Birdie, you cant either!" He tossed the gun inside and closed the door. Looking at the blonde, his eyes wide. There was a bullet hole in his chest. Blood was starting to pool at his feet as it ran down his torso and legs. Ivan lowered him to the ground and pulled out his cell-phone, calling 911.

"Please come...He was shot...in the chest...and and i think he was raped too..." His voice filled with desperation as he talked. He nodded a few times and told the the address where he was. "Please...hurry though...please..." Was the last thing he said before getting off the call and taking his sweater off, putting it to the wound, trying to stunt the bleeding. "Matvey...stay awake...please..." he looked into the others violet eyes that seemed to be loosing their color slowly.

"Ivan...please...dont cry..." he saw tears in the others eyes. "S-Smile please... because...i...i love you." he tried his best to smile. Ivan nodded and wiped his eyes, it proving to be nothing as more flowed. He smiled showing a small smile.

"Я люблю тебя Матвей...promise me you wont die...please promise..." Matthew just looked up at him, eyes rolling back into his head, and eyelids closing over his eyes. "N-No...nononononono..." He looked around and saw the ambulance approaching. He stayed with Matthew as they arrived and put him on the stretcher. "Let me ride with him, please..." His eyes teary again. The EMT nodded, letting him in. He sat next to the other, holding onto his hand "please...be alright...please Matvey..."

**FInially done with chapter 4...im so sorry it took so long to get it up...ive been depressed, as it said in the A/N above. hopefully chapter 5 will come sooner...and you can expect a fight...or two..maybe ;) if i feel like it...or who the hell know what imma do...i sure dont XD so till next chapter, see ya~**

Я люблю тебя Матвей- I love you to Matvey.


	5. Blame

**I am so sorry this is late lovies~ Ive had midterms and...just now as im typing this, as 12:04 am 1/22/13 i have been asked out by my best friend, who ive had a crush on for almost a year...shes amazing...and yes...i am finally happy...truelly happy...sorry for the errors and the short chapter loves~**

The light was blinding yet peaceful and welcoming. You wanted to go forward, where you saw someone waving to you.

_Matvey! _

_Wake up! _

_Please!_

_I need you here….please…._

The voice started pulling you back. It sounded….Familiar….but you don't remember who…..

_I love you…come back to me….please…._

You hear other voices. An obnoxious one that's telling you to come back, that he needs you to be here to listen to his problems and things that he has to complain about, to be in his wedding….to be the godfather of his children when he adopts, you hear something that makes you snap out of the thoughts of going to the light.

_Matvey….if…if you make it out….and if you can hear me…will…will you marry me…? Please? _

You blink. The light blinding you and you see violet eyes looking down at you in disbelief.

"Matvey…You…Your awake…." He smiles, tears forming silently in his eyes. "Alfred….Hes awake…" The man above looks over to the blonde next to him and looks back down at you.

"Woah…Mattie's awake?! Mattie!" He runs over, the signs of his coma slowing still from the bags under his eyes. "No way dude. The doctor said a few more days to a week before he woke up!"

"Alfred, Shut up!"

"…Wh…Whats goin on…?" Groggily he looks around from the hospital bed at the monitors around him. Wincing, he sits up and the memories come flooding back. The rape, the gunshot, everything. His eyes widen suddenly and he looks around. "W-Where is he…? Gilbert…W-Where is he…?" His voice shaking and amethyst eyes wide with fear. "He….He isn't here right…?" The others looked between each other and then looked at the blonde in the bed.

"Gilbert….wont be coming around for a while. He's….in jail…he was framed. They did a rape kit search on you…and found him trying to go to Germany…and stopped him. It took a good few cops to get him down." Arthur said, looking around.

"…..Yes….." he looked at the other and nodded…. "You…You asked if I would marry you…." He bit his lip and blushed. A smiles lit the others face up, a smile that couldnt compare to anything in the world. Alfred glared at the Russian. Since Matthew had gotten admitted into the hospital after the whole Gilbert thing had happened, he had started to dislike the Russian. He didn't like the fact that Matthew had gotten raped and shot…all in the same day. Arthur sighed and dragged Alfred out of the room.

"Alfred, what the bloody hell has gotten into you!? You should be happy for your brother not glaring at his soon to be husband! And you **know **it isn't his fault that Gilbert did this to him. He went out to have lunch with him then this all happened. If you want to blame anyone, blame Gilbert. Not Ivan."

"Iggy. You don't understand. He might have been hanging out with Gilbert, but Ivan is supposed to be responsible for my little brother." His eyes hard "I…I know what I would do if it happened to you. I wouldn't hesitate at all to go get you. An-"

"How do you know Ivan hesitated?" the angry Brit crossed his arms. "You don't know that he did Alfred….Maybe…Maybe you should calm down a little. You're taking everything too rationally. You haven't even thanked Mattie for keeping me alive and healthy while you were in a coma. Who do you think kept me fed and in clean clothes…? Brought me my homework for the months you were under in a coma. Yeah, thank Mattie **and **Ivan. Ivan hasn't left his side since he got shot. He stayed **every single night** after you and me go home. I can see it in his eyes that he really cares for Mattie and Mattie deserves someone to love him after what happened. He deserves to be loved as much as he can and you aren't helping in any way. You're being a bit selfish in my opinion. You may be twins….but….but that doesn't mean that you get all the happiness and he doesn't get any. You haven't seen his smile since the two have been going out have you? No. And…And I think that you need to go apologize. To the both of them…." Alfred just stood there, not blinking and thinking.

"Im not going to forgive him Iggy….I don't want to…I want my brother to be happy, yes. But not with this guy…And if yo-"

"If…If you cant accept the fact that your brother is happy….then…." He looks the taller in the face. "You come talk to me when you can….maybe then…then you can be happy as well. Until then…I guess this is goodbye Alfred. I'll….See ya at home in a bit…" Alfred's jaw drops.

"W-Wait….Please…Iggy…I don't want you to go…" He looked at the other, his blue eyes wide. "You were there for me, the only one that was….besides Mattie….thats all I need to know. Okay…? Just please…please…don't leave me Iggy…"

"Im sorry Alfred….Mattie needs you more than anything now…ill see you at home." And with that, he walks off, out of the hospital and to the car while Alfred just stands there, in shock before walking into the hospital room again.

"Al, where'd Iggy go? Did he go home to get some sleep….?" The tired blonde said. He just glares at the Russian, anger building up inside of him until he was ready to burst.

"Its your fault Commie….All your fault…" his voice like acid. Matthew's eyes widen. "You made this happen to my brother…You aren't good enough for him. You're no better than Gilbert. Not at all…He isn't marrying a Commie bastard like you." His expression hard as he looks straight into the Russians eyes. "He deserves something better than you will ever be for him. SO much better. I cant even describe what I feel for you, you LET this happen to him. You probably don't even care about him….do you? You're only stringing him along, playing with his heart. Soon, you're going to find someone else that you want to date and break his heart. What will you do then? Huh Commie? .That" He spat the last few words out, voice filled with hatred.

"ALFRED! What the hell?!" Matthew looks at his brother, eyes wide. "Why would you say all that!? Nothing is his fault! He didn't know Gil was going to do that! You nee-"

"Mattie, I forbid you from marrying him. If you marry him, you are no longer my brother." He looked straight at the blonde laying in the bed, dead serious. Matthew stared back at him.

"…I guess im not your brother anymore….so you can leave…Family visiting hours only. No...nobody else…." His voice hurt as he looks down and stares at the sheets as tears start to fall. "You would think…" He says as the other leaves "You would think that at least the person that would be the happiest for someone would be their family….don't you think…? But…I obviously have no family left….blood related anyways, because Alfred…You…" He wipes his tears and looks at the others back, "You don't deserve a brother if you're going to act like this…you need to….never mind…just…go…leave me alone…don't…talk to me anymore…unless its to say sorry, that's all I want to hear from you."

"Matvey…don't do this…I…We can wait to get married….until your brother agrees….Just don't do this because I know you will regret it after you do it…" Matthew just shook his head.

"See Mattie, even commie boy doesn't want you ma-" Matthew looked straight at the American.

" . . .Alfred" He just nodded, flipping the Russian off as he left.

"I will marry who I want and when I want. Not what he wants from me…He can deal. Its my life, its up to me….and….he can not talk to me if that's what he wants to do…I don't care anymore…" He looks at the other, which is now sitting in a chair by the bed. "Will…will you go get me some coffee…" The Russian nodded.

"Sure Matvey. I will be back with that in a few minuets…." He got up, placing a soft kiss on the others forehead before walking out and down to the Café to get a coffee for him. Matthew brought his knees to his chest, quietly starting to cry. _Why…. Why Alfred…? He never did anything to you… _


	6. Please

**SO GUESS WHO ISNT DEAD?! THIS GUY! So yeah, im really sorry its late like 3 months almost. But hey, shit happens. ;u; im thinking i might end this soon. I dont know. But yeah ;u; ANYWHORE. ENJOY CAUSE I DIDNT I CRIED TYPING THIS YOU SHOULD ALL REALIZE HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU**

Ivan held the coffee out to the small Canadian. "Mocha, like you asked Matvey…" He nodded, holding the coffee close as he thought it over in his head.

"Why doesn't Alfred like you hun…?" looks at him, eyes a little hurt and innocent, the most innocent he had ever seen them. He sighed and took a sip of the coffee he had gotten himself.

"I…it's because of what happened with Gilbert…he thinks that I didn't stop it, that I let it happen." The words played back in his head, making the Canadian sadder.

"How could he think that?! I know you didn't let that happen on purpose. You didn't know that he was going to do that! That's not right and Alfred is being an ass…I'm so sorry Ivan. So...So sorry for the way he's acting around you now. I can't even begin to apologize." Ivan just shook his head, as if saying "It's not your fault" and sipped his coffee with a sigh, looking at his watch.

"I have to go to work, I got a job while you were out….I'll be back after work, alright?" Matthew just nodded and sipped his coffee as Ivan walked out of the room.

~xXpAgEbReAk~Xx~

Its been almost two months since then. Matthew and Ivan were sitting across from each other in Ivan's apartment, going over some wedding plans. The Canadian stretched. They've been at this for hours, since Ivan got home.

"Ivan….Can we take a bath please? It might help with stress…" he looked at the other, rolling his shoulders. Ivan had been working since the summer started, trying to get money for the wedding. Putting down some papers on flowers, the larger of the two nodded and stood, stretching.

"Da, lets take a bath" He smiled and started walking towards the bathroom, followed by the smiling blonde. Starting the water he smiled softly, putting in some bubbles, knowing that the smaller liked that.

Matthew walked into the bathroom, wearing only his boxers and carrying some towels. "Its been a long time since we took a bath hasn't it?" Ivan nodded, stripping down and

stepping into the large tub, followed shortly by the other who sat in front of him, leaning back, closing his eyes. "Ivan, we should have our wedding in the late winter that way we still have snow." He smiled, glancing back at the other only to be caught in a light, loving kiss. He was used to this now. Small kisses, they normally ended seconds after they started. This one didn't.

Ivan gently put his hands on the others waist, turning him around so they faced each other. Matthew broke the kiss after this, glancing into the others eyes and taking a breath before pushing his lips onto the others, smiling softly, knowing that the other wouldn't break this kiss. They haven't shared a kiss or intimate moment since that night at the party. They both wanted this, so bad that it sometimes hurt. They would always be interrupted though. Not this time. Matthew laced his arms around the others neck, pressing closer to him, making the kiss deeper. Biting the Canadians lip, Ivan quickly gained entrance into the others mouth, causing him to let out a soft moan.

Big hands began to wander the smaller mans body, feeling the soft skin before resting on his hips, pulling him closer. He began to rub small circles onto the skin, causing the

other to moan again, arching his back. Oh, how Ivan missed this. He missed the sounds of the other, the taste, everything.

Soon, the need for air became too great and he pulled back, keeping the space between them close. "Matvey," his voice husky "You still have not become one with Mother Russia, have you?" he moved down to the others neck as he shook his head, groaning slightly at the sensation of his neck being kissed and played with. "Would you like to finally become one with me?" Matthew just nodded, rolling his hips slightly. "nnngh…Matvey…Ah, would you like me to take it easy on you tonight?"

"N-Non…Ivan…p-please…it's been too long…just...please…" his breathing was shallow and airy. He looked into Ivan's eyes, his own pleading and begging. Who could say no to that? Not Ivan, that's for sure. He nodded before giving him a soft kiss as he moved his hand lower, cupping the others ass and gently teasing his entrance. Matthew arched his back, gently pushing down on one of his fingers before kissing him deep and needing. "Ivann…Please I just…" He was cut off with a rough kiss before being lifted out of the water and carried to the bedroom. Upon getting there, he was dropped on the bed. He just laid there, looking up at the other with an innocent look. He knew what was coming. He knew Ivan wouldn't hurt him either.

The Russian climbed onto the bed, hovering over the small male, placing a heated kiss on his lips. He spread the others legs apart, only to be stopped. "Let me try something?"

He mumbled into the kiss. Ivan nodded, leaning back away from him for the time being. Matthew quickly switched their positions, pushing him back onto the bed. He dipped his head, giving the others hard member a curious lick, causing the other to arch his back, speaking Russian. Matthew liked this. He took the tip of it in his mouth, giving a light suck, spreading the pre-cum around before crawling up to rest on his lap.

"Matvey, what are you pl-" he was cut off by a finger to his lips, a signal to be quiet. Matthew slowly lifted himself up, positioning his entrance above the others member. Slowly he encased the hard cock inside of himself, wincing and whimpering as he did so. Ivans hands rubbed circles into his hips, helping him. Without stretching, Ivan was more than surprised that his whole member fit inside the other.

"F-Fuck Ivan…I forgot how b-big you-nnnnh~- were" his voice came out as a soft moan as he sat there, taking a few breaths before moving, slowly at first. This was a new sensation to him. He didn't know exactly what he was doing, but damn it felt good. He rode the others cock, getting faster, his face red, mouth slightly opened and eyes lidded. It was almost too much for the other to take. He sat up more before pushing the long haired blonde back, putting one of his legs on his shoulder, pinning his hands above his head, giving him no means of grabbing anything.

He pulled back out, almost fully before slamming into him with a moan emitting from both of the males. Matthew struggled against the others restraint on his hands. Matthew arched his back, rolling his hips and moaning the others name. The sound was sweet to the Russians ears. Smirking, Ivan leaned down and began to nip and suck at the others neck, causing him to be a writhing, sweaty mess. Ivan continued to pound into the other, closing his eyes and emitting small sounds of pleasure. Matthew, on the other hand, was too far gone to think about saying anything inelegant. This was pure bliss to him. The more Ivan hit his prostate, the closer he got to cumming. He knew he was close, but he couldn't think of a way to tell the other. So, he just laid there, panting and moaning.

There was a sensation in his stomach and he clenched around the other, cumming on their chests as he did so, saying, almost screaming, the others name. Ivan felt this, but he wasn't done yet, he still had some fight I him. He moved harder, faster. His thrusts were becoming oddly paced as he got closer and finally came with a loud moan. He fell onto the bed, next to the other and closed his eyes after pulling out. Matthew slowly curled into the others side, already asleep and seeking warmth.

~xX~pAgEbReAk~Xx~

A knock was heard on their apartment door. With Matthew being asleep, Ivan sighed and pulled on some pants, slicking back his hair and putting his scarf on. He covered the Canadian and walked to the door.

"Da…? May I help you?" The man shook his head then looked up with hard blue eyes.

"I told you not to think about marrying my brother. Now, you have to pay." He raised a gun to the others chest, point blank range. At that little distance, a lot of damage would be done. Alfred wasn't aiming at the heart though. Oh no. He was aiming for something that would cause him to die slowly. In pain and agony. He pulled the trigger. The shot was loud, loud enough to wake the other. He didn't know what was going on, nor did he really care as he got out of bed, groaning and walked to the bedroom door then out.

"I-Ivan...? What's going o-" his eyes widened as he looked at the ground. On the ground was his fiancée who was clutching his stomach as he bled and his brother standing over him with a murderous look in his eyes. "Alfred….W-Why would you do that….?" His eyes filled with tears as he ran over to the Russian, taking a blanket from the couch and pressing it to the wound. Alfred pulled Matthew away, restraining him from helping. He brought him to the room, forcing him to get dressed.

"Lets go Mattie. He deserves to die alone, like the rest of the commies." Matthew fought against the other with all his might. He didn't care if this was his brother or not, this was not okay.

"Let me go now Alfred! I need to take care of him! I cant let him die!" Alfred sighed.

"I didn't want to do this Mattie, but you gave me no choice." He walked to the Russian and shot him again, this time, closer to the heart. Blood dripped from his mouth onto the floor as he coughed. Matthew ran to him.

"N-No…No!" his voice full of rage and sadness. He pulled the others head into his chest, wiping his hair to the side, putting pressure on his wounds with his hands. Ivan reached and laid his hand on the others cheek.

"Matvey….Its…im fine…don't wo-" he groaned, coughing as Matthew pulled out his phone and called 911. He gave the person his street and apartment before looking down at the other, his eyes full of tears. "Remember I will always love you…forever and always."

"Ivan….dont…d-don't leave me please…I need you to be with me still. Please, please don't leave me…" his voice becoming softer as he reached up, putting one of his hands on the others hand.

"мой подсолнечника(my sunflower) don't be sad…I'll be alright…Just, one kiss before?" he coughed violently, blood spilling from his mouth, his eyes started to close.

"Ivan…?! Open your eyes! Don't go! Stay with me! I need you here…please. Please." His voice soft as tears fell as he leaned down, giving the other a soft kiss. "Don't leave me please." Ivan used the last of his strength and looked up at him with a soft smile.

"Im not leaving…im just going to wait for" he took a deep breath, coughing before speaking again. "you. I'll be in my suit at the end of the isle waiting for you my lo-" His eyes slowly slipped closed and his arm went slack. Matthew's eyes widened.

"No…NO! Ivan! Come back! Don't leave me! I don't want you to" Tears flowed steadily down his face as he held the other close, rocking. "Don't leave me…please…"

The paramedics came a few minuets later. They had to pry the Canadian off the larger man. He lashed out, swearing and screaming. Crying and kicking. He didn't want to be apart from him anymore. He needed the other to feel happy. They left him after extracting the body. He crumbled to the floor, eyes still wide as he stared at the pool of blood on his carpet.


	7. Red

**ALRIGHT. IM BACK with another chapter. So yeah, theres been a lot of shit going on here lately. Ive been in the Hospital and shit like that. Heh, yeah. So, WARNING. If YOU are triggered by SELF HARM. This might be a good idea to skip. I know it hits pretty close to home with me so yah. Oh, and I might put my PruCan re-write up soon!~ WITHOUT FURTHER ADU, chapter 8. ENJOY YOU LITTLE AWESOME PEOPLE THAT READ THIS ouo**

Matthew stared. The spot, it was so dark. He couldnt believe that his so called brother had just done that to his fiancee. His eyes were wide as he stared. Someone came and tapped his shoulder. He didnt acknowledge their presence until they spoke.

"Matthew..you need to get up. You're covered in blood. You need to change out of those clothes." There was a slight british accent to the voice that the blonde recognized. He looked up to see Arthur, whos expression was extremely sullen. He held out a hand, motioning for the Canadian to take it. When he didnt, he knelt down instead.

"Matt...What in the bloody hell happened...?" he was curious as to what the other had to say, even though he knew what had happened.

"I-I was just...I was just sleeping and then Alfred...There was a gun shot and then..then...Ivan...Alfred s-shot him Artie...he shot my fiancee...And...And i dont know if hes going to pull through.." His voice was laced with tears and sadness. He didnt know what to do at this point. He looked back down, looking at his hands. There was blood all over his hands, his shirt, his pants. He stared, blocking everything out everything. Arthur shook his head, scooping the other up and bringing him out to his car. He gently placed him in the passenger seat before going and grabbing some clothes for him. He knew that the Russian was in surgery at this point in time. He didnt want to worry the blonde anymore than he already was.

Walking back out to the car, he sighed. His heart went out to the Canadian. First he was shot himself, then his fiancee. It seemed that nobody wanted the two of them together. Looking into the car after closing the door, he realized that the other hadnt moved in the slightest and sighed getting in. The drive was silent as they drove to the brits apartment. He gently picked the other up and carried him inside. He didnt like the way he was reacting. It made him scared to say the least. _I don't understand why Al did this. Matt never did anything to hurt him did he?_ He looked over. Still no movement. This was going to be a pretty long visit from the Canadian.

"Hey Matthew…Would you like me to see if we can visit tonight? Would that make you feel a bit better love?" Dull violet eyes turned to look at him. A nod. That was all he needed, and that was all he got. "Alright. Well, lets get you inside, alright?" Matthew nodded again, opening his door and wordlessly walking to the door and into the apartment.

He felt empty. "Artie…" his voice was soft. "Im going to go shower…may…Maybe that will help a little." Arthur nodded handing him clothes. And with that, he walked to the bathroom and started the shower.

~xX~PaGeBrEaK~Xx~

Twenty minuets had gone by. Nothing to be concerned about. Arthur knew the kid needed space. So he let him have it. He decided to go lay down. As he did, he closed his eyes and soon fell into a light sleep.

Matthew on the other hand, sat in the shower, letting the water hit his body. Thoughts ran through his mind. He felt as though this was all his fault. That everything could have been prevented. He knew that this was his fault. He had to say yes. He had to be happy for once. He glanced up, his hair getting plastered to his head as he did. Then and there he made his mind up. After years of not doing it, he grabbed the razor that resigned in the shower and took it apart. '_I need some way to forget. Someway to try and let this pain go…'_

He took a deep breath and placed the cold metal on his arm, pressing and pulling it across. He bit his lip, keeping the whimpers in. _Two. Three. Four. _He didn't stop. Tears formed in his eyes. _Five. Six. Seven._ He kept going. _Eight. Nine. Ten._ The bottom of the tub was filled with red. The last one, number ten was deep. He didn't intentionally do that, it was out of habit. What he did when he was younger. He stood, feeling light headed before letting his arms drip. He watched as the blood dripped down his arm into the drain. Something else fell with them. Tears. _'I didn't…I didn't want to do this…How..How will I tell Artie…?'_ He didn't want to tell Arthur. Maybe its best to keep him in the dark for now. He sighed, turning the water off and going straight for the first aid kit. Bandaging himself up, Matthew made sure the tub was clear of any blood and replaced the razor in there with another. He took the blade with him though.

~xX~PaGeBrEaK~Xx~

"A-Arthur…? You ready to go?" Both have showered and wear wearing clean clothes. Matthew with the hoodie that Ivan had given him, it reminded him of Jack Frosts hoodie. It looked the same too. Arthur looked at him, eyebrow raised.

"Are you really going to wear that sweater in this weather?" He stuffed his foot in his other converse and stood straight. "Shorts and a Sweater. Not really good summer wear Matt." Matthew just ignored it and walked outside, instantly hit with the heat of the day. It was going to be a long day for the Canadian. But, wearing sweaters all year round was a thing that he was used to. That was until he got shot by Gilbert. Then it all went away. Everyone could have seen the scars, that was if they looked close enough. It had been years since he did it. He had accepted that nobody would love him and nobody would care.

Then he met Ivan and his world changed.

~xX~PaGeBrEaK~Xx~

_He walked down the hall way to the office, he had been called up there for some reason. He hadn't done anything bad though, so it confused him. A few people that were delaying going to class and doing work saw him and sneered. "Fag" "Are they finally kicking you out for being gay?" he just kept his head down as he walked, not wanting to deal with this. He finally got to the office and saw a new student there. Rubbing at his arms absently, the office assistant told him that this was the new student, and that he would be showing him around. Nothing to worry about. The kid turned to him and stuck out a hand.  
_

"_Hullo! Im Ivan!" He pronounced it as Evun. Matthew smiled a little as he took his hand, shaking it in return._

"_Matthew. Matthew Williams" His voice was soft, not as soft as normal though. "You ready to go to class?" He got a nod as he let go of his hand. They walked and the kids that made fun of him before were still out, roaming the hall. This time, they decided to get physical. As Matthew and Ivan walked by them, they acted as if everything was fine. Until they were right near them. One of the guys stuck his foot out, as a distraction, causing Matthew to look over at them when he almost tripped, getting a fist to the face. _

"_That's for being a fag. You should just go kill yourself. Nobody likes yo-" The kid was cut off by the Russian._

"_You never tell someone to kill themselves. Its not nice for one, and two. You would feel guilty if he did. Wouldn't you?" he kept eye contact with them as he stood in front of the confused blonde. Nobody had ever stuck up for him, well, nobody was around when it happened. The kid just looked at him, eyes wide. "Go to class, before I do the same to you." The kids scrambled away and Ivan turned, picking him up. "Sorry Matvey. Don't kill yourself. I don't want to lose a friend" he smiled and Matthew stared at him, eyes wide. That day he made a silent vow to stop cutting, just incase his new found friend found out. That was the day that everything changed. He didn't get picked on anymore. He was becoming happy again. Him and Ivan became good friends through the year._

~xX~PaGeBrEaK~Xx~

"-tthew are you listening to me…?" Matthew shook his head, looking over.

"S-Sorry Artie…I just…I kinda spaced a bit." Arthur sighed and looked over.

"I said, we're here…are you sure you want to do this? Want to visit him?" Matthew nodded, getting out. "I-I need to make sure he's okay.." The other nodded as he walked into the building, asking to see the Russian. A doctor came out to take them back, only to stop them right outside the room. He spoke, and Matthews jaw dropped.

**So, yeah. Hows that~ Hope you enjoyed! Next should be up soon I suppose~**


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